If you are thinking about seeking relationship coaching or counseling for the first time, you may be wondering about the first session and how it is going to look like.
Things that will come to your mind, “How long will the session be?” “How should I talk about my issue?” Who’s going to initiate the conversation?” “Am I going to be judged?” “Will the psychologist/coach take sides?” “Is it going to be effective?”
These are all normal things to come to your mind given that you have never done it before, and unfortunately many people in our society stigmatize couples who seek external help for their relationships which makes it even harder to make the first step to working on your relationship.
When you first meet with your psychologist/coach, you and your partner will discuss the issues that you want to improve in your relationship. During the first session, expect to discuss the history of your relationship distress. The therapist will want to know the main problems you are experiencing, and what causes most of your stress within the relationship.
The reason one or two individual sessions for each partner are necessary is because the psychologist needs to understand some background and history on each person separately and discuss your specific needs. In addition, it is important to learn how each partner views his/her issues from their point of view. This will help the psychologist/coach to understand the couple and their views better. Then a permission will be taken from both of them about the topics that are going to be discussed when they join the session together.
You may be wondering if it’s couples coaching, why do you need to take permission prior to discussing the issues with both of them? Here’s why, in the individual session, the client might tell the psychologist/coach something personal about themselves that they don’t want to share in their session together or their own views about what has led the couple to this point. Exposing all the information from the individual sessions without the client’s consent may cause conflicts between the couple and deteriorate their relationship and this is the last thing we would need then right? We want to patch things up; we don’t want to make it worse!!
Now it is time to set goals on how to move forward based on your relationship history and the issues that you both discussed with your relationship coach. With the help of your relationship psychologist/coach, you and your partner will set goals for your relationship to help you determine goals that will hopefully lead you and your partner to a place of peace and connectivity.
In this step also, you will discuss how many sessions you may need. There’s no rule of thumb when it comes to deciding the number of sessions the couple might need as it depends on several factors such as: the couples (main issue), their pace, their commitment to the process, and how well they are responding to therapy.
Relationships are hard work. No relationship can grow or improve on its own if you don’t put enough effort into it like any other thing. At some point, you may find yourself comparing your relationship to other people’s relationships and thinking why me? Why are they living a healthy relationship and I am the one suffering to make my relationship work? Here’s the thing, we tend to judge only by looking on the outside. If someone has been married for 10+ years with a bunch of kids and they portray their life as perfect, we tend to believe that yes; it is perfect. Truth is, not all people who look happy are actually happy. Nobody knows what is happening behind closed doors, and just like you did not share with these people what you are going through, they might be dealing with their share of adversity as well.
Don’t wait till the last minute to make a step into couples counseling. What can’t be fixed, could be prevented.
Hi, my name is Eliza!
I am a Certified Life Coach, cognitive behavioral therapist, and industrial-organizational psychologist based in Dubai.
The challenges and confusion that can come with personal and professional growth are immense, and I faced them myself, but the key to overcoming life’s challenges and achieving success lies within us.
As a psychotherapist, I offer continuous support and motivation to help you reach your goals and find fulfillment. As a counselor, I provide various types of therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy, to help you overcome psychological problems such as depression and anxiety.
Let’s work together to create a healthier, happier, and more successful life for you.
Copyright 2024 © – Eliza H. The New ME!
